Saturday 9 October 2010

Serenity











The Twitch Texts - Vol 2

my daughter


woohoo twitch had a fit free night.  They just have to get his meds right n then we can come home n just return for tests.

my daughter


Woohoo.  Twitch getting discharged today!  Wonder if I will too?

my daughter

Twitch n mom going home today!

my daughter


Hi did you just ring.  I got a missed call and private number.

my daughter


Mystery solved.  It was the hospital.  Twichs meds r at right levels.

my daughter


Just to let you know twitch back in hospital.  Fits are not stopping. They are admitting him overnight for observation and we will see what the morning brings.

my daughter


Just seen doc.  They want to give twitch a party and look at him under uv light n also contact cambridge for some advice cos the seizure expert here just retired.  They gave him extra meds last night n since then only 2 fits so at least thats good.

my wife


Twitch had fewer fits today - double meds.  I'm off to J's for the night .  J hoping discharge tomorrow.  If so I will come home then x

my daughter


Twitch has been a good boy so has been given an overnight pass!  He better behave at home!

my daughter


Well they finally found out that young twitch has an abnormal brain.  He made pretty patterns for the eeg man.  Just a shame they dont know what the patterns mean.  Will find out tomo when they talk to the experts at addenbrookes.

Sunday 3 October 2010

Arrival

d




The Twitch Texts - Vol 1

A special gift called Twitch.   His story unfolding in a series of text messages ...

My wife

Twitch at 4:34

My elder brother


Congratulations.  Say hello from me, L and the family.

My cousin


So this is what happens when the computer and the answerphone pack up!  I'm all agog!  Bigtime congrats 2 all. Ouch I bet!  Will ring asap.  Much love 2 all.  Z'n'themxxx

My younger brother


Many congratulations, hope Mum and baby doing well.  Pass on our best wishes to everyone.  I can tell Mum if you want.

My wife


Arrived at the barn.  Will go to hosp after cuppa.  How's things with you? x

My daughter


Hi dad.  On the ward at the minute so cant use phone for calls.  It sounds like you are having some quality time with gran.  Give her a big gentle hug from me.  Twitch is doing well.  He is off his iv fluids now so just me feeding him which is nice.  He is still hooked up to various monitors but is much more peaceful.  He hasn't had any fits since yesterday.  Love you lots.  J

My daughter


Twitch has had a good night.  Feeding every hour and i half the little piglet.  Hes much more lively and alert now so they have to keep replacing the sticky bits on his monitors.

My daughter


Just to add to our fun and games W now has croup!  D had him down the emergency docs last night.   He is fine now.

My daughter


Twitch just had another fit.  Only lasted 20 secs n didnt set monitors off.

My daughter


Doc been round n didnt seem worried about fit.  Just wants to carry on with obs.  All bloods normal.

My wife


Staying at J's from tonight.  Bringing W home wed for unknown period xx

My daughter


Twitch has had some more fits in the night but he is ok.  They still dont know what is causing them.  It hasnt stopped him being a greedy monster though.  He likes his food every 2 hours with the odd snack in between!

My daughter


Hi.  Just sent you a general update on Twitch.  How is gran?  Sounds like you had a good trip down memory lane.  I am so glad you have been able to spend some quality time with her.  Give her more hugs from me.

My daughter


Twitch had a cluster of 3 fits close together last night despite being given a sedative.  Just waiting to see doc on ward round to see what is going to happen.  He should be having a head scan later today.  Let's hope they find a brain!

My wife


At hosp awaiting head scan.  MRI and EEG later in week.  Drs not overly concerned at this stage.  Will be back later than thought as staying for scan x

My wife


Today's tests finished.  Decided to travel wed am.  Speak later x

My daughter


Well we can now successfully confirm that Twitch does have a brain n that it does work.  Past that we are still clueless and he is still fitting although he is now on daily meds to help control the fits.  Just need it to start working!

My daughter


Well they r still waiting for test results but think it may just be one of those things he will grow out of.  They want him to have an mri and a few more days of drugs to check he is getting the right levels n then we may be allowed out.  Dont you love the doctors never say anything definite!

My daughter


Twitch went for mri yesterday.  Behaved himself until mom bled all over the floor.  He cant take her anywhere!

My daughter


Just saw doctor about Twitch.  His brain is normal as far as they can tell.  They want to get fits under control.  They will let us home just coming back in for tests to see if they can find the cause.  They think the meds r working even though he is having more fits as they are shorter.  He finishes his antibiotics tomo.

What happened .....















Sunday 26 September 2010

A Poppy

The safe unlocked and a key to the front-door pieced in my hand.  The warm Saturday morning air lies still and heavy round the house.

Entrance - stark, sharp stained-glass.  Red and green shards of diffracted light on the varnished wooden floor.  There is a Japanese lacquered vase on the shelf in the hall, beside it a single red poppy.  She's barely conscious as I come through to her bedroom.  My younger brother is there.  He shows me the ropes, the stash of liquid morphine to dull the pain, the crumbled paracetamol to sprinkle over her food, and then we are alone together.

I hold her hand.  The skin is wafer-thin, stretched taught across her twisted arthritic bones.  She trembles slightly and awakes, her eyes rheumy and heavy-lidded.  I think she recognises me for a second, and then she is gone once more, chasing down the pain toward another fitful sleep.

I sit beside her, at peace.

We talk at intervals throughout the day - sometimes lucid, sometimes not.  Dear Uncle Malcolm, just married and riding his courier motorcycle across some distant Asian island.  Invaded.  The Japanese took his life, and the single poppy bears memory.  She remembers him each day.  An unmarked grave in a distant place.

She wanders in and out of consciousness.

We're off on holiday now, I don't know quite where. I run down an ice-cream van for her, and two precious spoons of melting sugar pass her lips.  At peace, and the light holds her for a second, breathing.

"Where is she?"  Waking fitfully again, she calls, "You can tell me, I won't cry."  Hilary died many, many year ago, the wheels of her bicycle spinning uselessly.  And she is here with us.  Captured in a black and white photograph on her bedside table.

We pass the day together.  Walking the dead .. endless.