the village murders

Regular viewers of BBC's long-running 'Midsomer Murders' drama series might be forgiven for thinking it's all just a bit of harmless fun. A mild-mannered fiction to while away the dark, winter evenings.

With a body count to date of some 423 lost souls how could it be anything else? And yet, behind the twitching lace-curtains of rural Middle-England, similar scenes of carnage lie waiting to be found should you care to look close enough.

The ladies are taking over and your intrepid reporter is hot on their trail.

The first victim has taken refuge for a few precious moments in his man-cave. Lovingly, he files a strip of metal ready for his next job. Engrossed in his work he fails to notice her draw near.

It could have been any of his tools, the electric drill, the axe or the heavy-duty spanner, but her chosen weapon is the rubber mallet.

She lifts it high, squints her eyes to focus on the target area and...

We now join what, at first sight, appears to be a perfectly innocent cake-baking session.

Her recipe-book, baking-tins and ingredients are laid out neatly on the breakfast bar. Behind it sits an admiring gentleman, wine-glass in hand. He smiles beatifically in contemplation of the coming joys of lemon drizzle.

But wait, what's in that brown medicine bottle? Surely not!!

Surreptitiously, she turns her back and pours the contents of the bottle into the glass mixing bowl. Look at that fleeting but deadly smile which plays across her face as the dreadful deed is done.

The poisoner's next victim is about to be claimed.

Let's raise a toast to the ladies of our life!

Behind the closed curtains a warming fire is lit and stoked and two blood-red glasses are full. Now all that remains is for the poker to land. It doesn't take long. A solitary well-aimed blow to the back of the head.

She takes a sip from her glass as he lies prone on the floor beneath her foot.

'Cheers, darling!'

We pass just a little further down the ill-lit lane and enter yet another house. Sock-footed we stand in the shadows and watch for the noose to tighten. 

She chooses a length of brightly coloured material from the vibrant selection laid out on the table before her.  Silently, she moves to the back of his chair, loops the material over his head, twists the knot and pulls tight.

Try as he might he cannot break free and his head slumps to his chest.

History repeats itself in the last house of the village. We enter the room, head bowed, through the 15th century black-studded door. It's here the ghost is rumoured to roam.

Yet another occupant lies slumped across the polished dining-table. He's surrounded by candles and despatched by a candle-stick.

And so we leave the twinkling lights and twitching curtains of a Middle-England hamlet by the caustic and fittingly-named Cemetery Lane.

Tomorrow is another day...

Aarhus cathedral

 

Aarhus Cathedral is the longest and tallest Chuch in all of Denmark. Building began in the last decade of the 12th century, coming to full fruit some three hundred years later.

We enter from the streets of shops outside, only just starting to come to life in a bright Autumn morning. The first thing we hear, to our delight, is the sound of young mothers playing with their babies under a ballooning parachute in front of the alter.

This is the way Church should be...

The walls are painted white, above them a beautiful series of ceiling arches picked out in embossed gold. The atmosphere is light, airy and serene.

I make my way to the stalls that lead up to the alter. The carved wooden seats feature both elaborate carvings of heads (presumably patterned on priests and wealthy burghers) and graffiti scratched and scuffed into the surface by long-dead hands. Both exist in total harmony.

Later in the day we return to climb the one hundred steps that lead to the top of the Chuch tower. What a view greets us.

donna

'Tap, tap, tap.'

I said I'd meet him here at ten, Dr. Robert.

Creeping down the street, hand in pocket, clutching the notes. 

'Tap, tap, tap.'

I pass by the graveyard wall and reach out a finger. 'Donna'. I trace her name carved in the cap-stone beneath the chestnut tree. Donna, long lost Donna buried deep beneath the leaves and debris. Donna, gone.

A pink sandstone switch-blade cut. 'Donna'.

'Tap, tap, tap'

Dr. Robert is coming for me. I wait beside the gate and remember the summer-smiling Donna in moist, ripe cheese-cloth. I reach out and trace our kisses in the fallen leaves.

'Tap, tap, tap'

And he's here.

A metallic click as Dr. Robert opens the Gladstone. He hands me the phial, I hand him the notes. He disappears silently into darkness. I will follow shortly.

Donna, dear Donna. We cut your name with the sharpened knife and fall into dewy grass. You play hard to get as we tumble over and over between the tomb-stones.

I crack open the phial.

And the world explodes, raising up the graves and the filigree tumbled stone-work and the thick bark stripped back to bare wisps of Donna amongst the maiden leaves and the open blade.

You carve your name indelibly into my blind eyes. And I carve you too. Deeply.

The light flashes and sparks. For one brief moment I can see. A rush of dead blanched tomb-stones as 'tap, tap, tap,' my past and my present and my future embrace before me and your name is carved indelibly across this silent graveyard.

It is the last thing I will ever see. 

I drop the emptied phial and cast aside my white stick.

I lie beside you as the darkness closes in. We are together now, Donna. Forever.

 

Aarhus - the Botanical Gardens

The Botanical Gardens at Aarhus are just up the way from Den Gamle By. We pay a short visit just before closing time.

The Gardens were opened in 1873 to promote fruit trees and other useful plants. In addition to the extensive grounds there are series of linked Tropical Houses which are home to plants and trees from around the world.

We climb a spiral staircase to a rooftop eyrie above just as the tropical sprays begin to mist the palms. What a beautiful way to end our day here.

a travel in time to the future

 

Perhaps not so much a walk into the future as a glimpse of Denmark in the present. This three storey apartment was constructed in 2014 and until its relocation to Den Gamle By served as home to a lesbian couple and their family.

It's a stunning example of Scandinavian design at its very best. Simple lines, interesting architectural detail and modern-living accommodation with split-level bedrooms and an open-plan kitchen area.

So much is housed so well in this beautiful building. How come we can't build affordable accommodation like this in the UK?

a travel back in time - part three

 

Two very different stories told through two more buildings at Den Gamble By in Aarhus.

The first is a gynaecology clinic, the first to open in South Jutland back in 1974. You can tell we're still in the 70s from the orange furniture and the thoughtful provision of a much-used ashtray in the waiting room.

The clinic itself is brought to life by a shadow-show projection of a lady undressing and dressing in a curtained booth. The stark contrast with the examining couch and stirrups next to it speaks poignant volumes about both vulnerability and emancipation.

The second building close by provides welcome relief. A 70s traditional bakery stuffed to the gills with cholesterol-rich goodies and super-sugared sweet-treats!

And so we leave the 70s in search of a glimpse of the future...