Dear Sheddists,
what a marvellous time we have at Latitude. The sun shines, the music flows - even the infamous camp-site toilets last the duration in comparatively good shape!
All on board
This year's festival entourage consists myself and youngest daughter, teenygoth, veteran campaigners both from the mudflats of 2012, accompanied for the first time by dear mrs electrofried.
We arrive on site early Thursday afternoon to bag a prime spot for the camper-van. This despite the eccentric, back-lane meanderings of a malfunctioning sat-nav whose staggered instructions suggest it has already partaken of an early, and rather significant ingestion of poor quality boot-legged festival cider.
Border control
Upon arrival we're stopped by the gates for the customary search to establish we're free of glass-ware, miscellaneous weaponry and illegal substances.
Dear mrs electrofried gulps. To her horror she recalls suddenly the on-board stowage of not one, but two jars of breakfast spread. Never mind marijuana, mandrax, methamphetamine or magic mushrooms; we're packing illicit glass-stored marmalade - seville orange fine-cut from Waitrose, no less.
Fortunately, our suspect package evades detection by the festival gendarmerie, conceivably on the basis the two jars in question are packed adjacent to my socks, and we're waved on through border control.
Half an hour later Veronica the Van is parked-up, the awning erected safely and the first can of Mrs Patel's own label super-strength lager popped open in a riotous spume of cut-price alcohol. Joy of joys, the sun shines!
Friday fun
Much to everyones relief, the awning remains solidly in place overnight, despite having been erected under the influence of Mrs Patel's finest. It houses the slumbering teenygoth whilst mrs electrofried and I hunker on down in Veronica the van.
We're up and about at a faintly reasonable time and make our way to the main arena. So here's the low-down on the first day proper of the festival.
The Chortle Student Awards
Sadly misrepresented, the opening session in the Comedy Tent should read, 'The Throttle Student Awards'. Using the 'f' word every other sentence is neither funny nor edgy; instead the majority of the alleged comedians come across as little more than sad, middle-class teenagers sorely in need of their early morning Ritalin fix.
The redeeming grace is compere, Kwame Asante, last year's winner of the Awards. His plangent observations of life are both hilarious and challenging.
Rated: D (A for Kwame Asante)
The Singing Hypnotist
Not bad on the singing front, with several members of the audience up on stage dancing at the end. However, it proves difficult to judge the efficacy of his hypnotic skills as the Council has declined to issue him a licence!
Rated: C
John Grant
And so to the first music of the festival. Having failed to click with either of John Grant's last two albums the live show proves worthy of a visit. The audience is receptive and Mr Grant appreciative.
Rated: B
Yo La Tengo
After a slow start, one of my favourite bands come good to produce a set resplendent in shrieking feedback. Even mrs electrofried gives it the 'thumbs-up'!
Rated: B+
Cat Power
Another slow starter, Chan Marshall eventually wins us over. She sounds much bigger live than on record.
Rated: B
The Maccabees
Whilst proving something of a hit with both mrs electrofried and teeygoth, The Maccabees somehow fail to light my fire so it's off to the Radio 6 tent half-way through their set.
Rated: C
Calexico
The short trip from the main Obelisk Arena proves very worthwhile. I see most of Calexico's set and they go down a storm - wild Mariachi style, expertly played. A real eye-opener.
Rated: A-
Texas
I stay on to catch Texas, and much to my surprise enjoy them immensely. Sharleen Spiteri, despite sharing a name with an Australian sex-worker (thank you, Wikipedia, for this fascinating insight) is in superb form. Demonstrating boundless energy that belies her years she works the crowd relentlessly. A top way to finish the first day of the Festival proper.
Rated : A-
Saturday delights
I wake early and take advantage of the opportunity to visit the communal showers before a mass-arrival later that morning which sees a snaking queue of body-odoured festival goers line up optimistically for a quick dip n' delouse before the tepid waters run dry.
Duly refreshed, I link up with the girls and set out in search of a Latitude cooked-brekkie special. Marvellous! Carbohydrates suitably replenished we make our way to the main arena for the second day of the festival.
Mrs electrofried and teenygoth elect to stop by the Literary Tent to hear Germaine Greer speak. Eschewing their feminist whiles I set off for the Henna Tattoo studio for an ill-advised tree-frog special followed by the purchase of a decidedly dodgy straw-hat.
Raffishly attired I saunter over to the Obelisk Arena for ....
Charles Bradley
The legendary rediscovered soul singer delivers a superb set, at long last enjoying rightful success in his mid-sixies. Charles has the audience eating from his not inconsiderable hand and gasping at his surreal James Brown stage moves.
Rating: A
Efterklang
Anyone for Danish post-rock? I have high hopes for seeing this band, though sadly they fail to live-up to expectations. In a word, limp.
Rating: C-
Daughter
Mrs electrofried and I opt for a move to the Radio 6 Tent. It's our second sighting of Daughter in just two weeks, having had their pleasure as the support to Sigur Ros at the recent Eden Sessions in Cornwall.
They're in cracking form, conjuring up a dense and smoky folk-rolled magic that has the Tent rocking.
Rating: A
Mark Lanegan
We stay on for Mark Lanegan, a man who's voice stands him in good stead to become the next Johnny Cash. Having seen him on stage earlier in the year we know what to expect. His superb mixture of blues, country and Americana has the audience, and us, enthralled.
Rating: A
Richard Ashcroft
I catch the opening song then do the decent thing and cross over to the Obelisk Arena to bag three seats for Kraftwerk, tonight's headliners.
Meanwhile, mrs electrofried stays on to watch the ex-Verve lead singer deliver a spirited set accompanied only by an acoustic guitar and an enormous sense of self-belief!
Rating: B
Kraftwerk
Despite mixed views in the social media the following day, we both love the magnificent set Kraftwerk delivers, even if Ralf Hutter is the sole remaining musician from the original ensemble. The visuals suit the larger space of the Obelisk Arena, and whilst the crowd has thinned somewhat by the end of proceedings it's definitely one to treasure.
Rating: A
A day of culture to finish
After forty eight hours packed to the gills with music we decide on the last day of the festival to turn our attentions to other cultural treats on offer. And surprise, surprise ... the sun is STILL shining!
Marcus Brigstocke's Policy Unit
Whilst we're pleasantly surprised to find a good spot in the Comedy Arena it's clear a number of our fellow festival-goers are starting to feel the strain of non-stop partying. Their repeated yawns are no reflection on the superb acerbic take on modern Britain delivered by Marcus and his panel.
Rated: A
Alan Moore and Mitch Jenkins
At this point we go our separate ways, the girls to the Cabaret Arena and yours truly to the Film Tent. I take a seat on the dusty floor at the front to hear Alan Moore interviewed about a series of short films he's produced with Mitch Jenkins plumbing the febrile depths of his gothic imagination.
For those unfamiliar with his oeuvre, Alan is probably the leading graphic novelists of his era, penning such legendary classics as 'The Watchmen', 'V for Vendetta' and 'Swamp Thing'.
The films that follow are well and truly of that ilk, and I leave the tent an hour or two later, head still reeling!
Rated: A
National Youth Theatre
Our second cultural foray of the day is to the Outdoor Theatre at the behest of young teenygoth to see the National Youth Theatre's take on 'Little Red Riding Hood'. She saw the day before and joins us for a second viewing.
What a great recommendation it turns out to be! The play is both immersive and subversive, challenging us to question our response to people whose culture we do not truly understand. Definitely THE highlight of the weekend.
Rated: A+
Grizzly Bear
After topping-up with yet more ethnic festival-foodery, it's off the Obelisk Arena to see the much anticipated Grizzly Bear. Both teenygoth and I are eager to see them play live, but they prove disappointing to say the least. So much so, I abandon ship half-way through to go across to the Radio 6 Tent.
Rated: C
Disclosure
Not a band I've ever heard of before, so it comes as rather a pleasant treat to venture into a Tent crammed to over-flowing with young ones, all of whom appear to be distinctively 'off their heads'. Guy and Howard Lawrence may be barely out of school, but their savvy mix of nouveau house-music and plain old-fashioned pop goes down a storm.
Rated: A-
Moon Duo
And so it's a climb through the woods to see my last chosen band of the weekend, Moon Duo, who are down to close proceedings on the i-Stage at the far end of the site. They're an off-shoot of Ripley Johnson's infamous, Wooden Shjips who removed a considerable portion of my cerebellum last year with their mind-numbingly beautiful repetitive fuzz-tones.
Moon Duo prove in a similar vein and the audience is soon locked in for the ride to their hypnotic groove. A very fitting way to finish an excellent weekend.
Rated: A
And in conclusion ...
I'm delighted to confirm dear mrs electrofried pronounces on our return she's happy to go again. Watch out Latitude 2014, we're counting down the days!
